Lauren Greenslet
Intensity, No. 4
“And my feelings have diverted so far from you.”
My fingers had started to crawl over my forearms, reaching for a reason to convince you to stay.
The ringing in my ears silenced for only a moment so I could recall the memory of hearing you laugh for the first time
It was like my brain shut off completely, to allow the burn of shock to settle beneath my skin without distraction
My eyelashes buried my tears, eyes closed shut so tight as to not let the last time we speak be one where you make me weak like all previous occasions
When we started holding hands
When we didn’t keep the secrets we should’ve
When we both were crying over the same song for different reasons
When you told me the story of your dad, your favorite camp, the first time you heard girls in a romantic way, the first time you heard her voice before mine and how it’ll never compare now that we were one
I sat in my dimly lit room with those nine words whilst my body conjured up a way to keep you at a distance unlike all the times before.
You broke all the walls down, so why keep that last one up?
My lungs finally collapsed, my chest deflating and
the last bit of held in air forced out the word
“Okay.”
Tidal
A soft ocean breeze.
Or the ocean and the breeze, kept apart, at a distance, represented separately
But all at the same time coexisting and intertwining
The ocean being me
And my ever-changing, scattered, unpredictable, catastrophic tides
The breeze being you
And your endless pushing
Distance
it would be best to stay here
alone
without you
it would be best to not call
words make things so complicated
it would be best to not think about it anymore
i still find a way to you, regardless
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